Politicians have stars in their eyes, but it's not cool

‘Nobody likes a liar’ is what my parents drummed into me as a child.

That’s why a career as a politician hasn’t ever really appealed to me. That, and the fact I’m not Oxbridge educated, have never been a member of the Bullingdon Club, Footlights, or have access to my family’s vast wealth built in the 1800’s through peerage (and tax avoidance).

"Obama has waded into Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj’s American Idol ‘feud’..."

By their very nature politicians are slimy toads. Kissing babies, hugging the disabled and giving pensioners a ‘Winter Fuel Allowance’ so they can run their central heating for an extra five minutes during the winter are all parts of their polished repertoire to convince us that they’re good guys, just like us and that we should vote for them.

But they seem to have a new trick up their sleeve. Having realised anyone who has voted more than once in their life is no longer falling for their lies, politicians are going after the kids.

Barack Obama has waded into Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj’s American Idol ‘feud’: he told American radio DJ Michael Yo in an interview that he thinks Nicki and Mariah “ are going to be able to sort it out, I am confident”. Really.

Elsewhere, mop-haired Boris Johnson went Gangnam Style at the Tory Party Conference last week and no doubt David Cameron is brushing off his Bullingdon Club tails in preparation for a spin around the Strictly Come Dancing studio sometime soon.

"What about sending Cameron and Miliband to the jungle for a series of  head-to-head Bushtucker trials?"

And all the while, the world struggles to continue to spin under financial and political pressure. A world where 14-year-old girls are shot for wanting an education.

Yet, we let them get away with it. So perhaps we the voters should ask them to put some kangaroo balls where their mouths are.

What about sending Cameron and Miliband to the jungle for a series of  head-to-head Bushtucker trials? Or Boris Johnson into the Big Brother house, alone apart from a hungry Essex Lion on a leash made of bacon. Let’s whisk Obama off to Brentwood for a few nights behind the bar at Sugar Hut.

"Politicians: divert your eyes from MSN Entertainment, turn off YouTube and fix our broken planet instead."

I wonder; if politicians were actually forced to spend time facing a weekly public vote and humiliation at the hands of Louis Walsh, how many of them would really find it so appealing to be down with the kids?

For the likes of you and I, celebrity nonsense is an escape from the crushing reality of everyday life and frankly there are much bigger issues in the world than who can bake the best Fondant Fancies in a marquee in Somerset. So politicians, divert your eyes from MSN Entertainment, turn off YouTube and fix our broken planet instead.

All this ‘we’re cool and trendy’ nonsense by you lot isn’t fooling anyone.

And, frankly, it's a ‘no’ from me.

Dom Bradbury is the most miserable man on the internet and the mystery face behind AngryBritain.com. Self-declared Twitterati powered by bad reality shows, his @AngryBritain account quietly waits and watches for celebrities, politicians and companies to mess up before pouncing on them like Harry Styles on a pensioner.

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