Cheer up Posh, you're about to be even richer

“Easy V doesn’t come for free, she’s a real lady,” a wise woman once sang (no, wait, that was Geri Halliwell). And it’s true that Easy V, aka Victoria Beckham, doesn’t come for free – she stands to make at least £5 million from the Spice Girls musical that was officially launched this week – so wouldn’t it be a little more ladylike to at least try to smile about it?

Of course, Posh always looks miserable - she’s under the impression that she looks sexier that way and we’ve all learned to love or at least tolerate her for it – but her appearance at the Viva Forever photo call and press conference was something else. Her all-black outfit, her cold body language, that permanent scowl… never has she looked so truly devastated - did she scratch her best sunglasses on the way over or something?

Posh clearly thinks she’s far cooler, classier and more sophisticated than her former bandmates, and it’s true that she’s certainly accomplished quite a bit more than her frenemies (sorry Geri, but four gorgeous kids with the world’s hottest man and a successful career in fashion somewhat trumps slapping a Union Jack motif on some manmade fibres at Next), yet there’s nothing classy about being this ungrateful.

"Posh might think her swanky new Hollywood mates will look down on her for being attached to something so ghastly."

It’s not like she even has to be in the musical – she’s simply pocketing a few million for officially endorsing it. You’d think she might have mustered the energy to drop the sulky child act for a second.

After all, a Spice Girls musical might not sound particularly impressive, but this isn’t some rubbish school production – with Jennifer Saunders and Mamma Mia creator Judy Craymer behind it, it won’t be to everyone’s tastes, but it’s guaranteed not to be a complete flop either.

Posh might think her swanky new Hollywood mates will look down on her for being attached to something so ghastly, but surely Suri Cruise will be gagging for a free ticket from Auntie Posh?  

"Mel C, too, has reportedly been reluctant to take part in all these reunions, but so far she’s managed not to make her disdain quite so obvious – in public, at least."

Amusingly, Mel C – arguably the least famous of the fivesome and with a history of turning up to special occasions in dodgy tracksuits – looked far more elegant and appropriate at the launch than Posh did. She, too, has reportedly been reluctant to take part in all these reunions, but so far she’s managed not to make her disdain quite so obvious – in public, at least.

Meanwhile, Geri, Mel B and Emma just can’t believe their luck. They’re not ashamed that they started out as Spice Girls – in fact, they probably wish they could go back in time and do it all over again (only with better shoes).  

Isabel Mohan (@Isabel_Mohan) is a freelancer writer and showbiz commentator.

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