Orange Film Studios remake Ryan

 

For years, rumours of the mysterious renegade Orange Film Studio have been rife in Hollywood – and finally, after much hype the world will see the fruits of their innovative labours in the form of their first feature, Saving Private Ryan’s Number.

After not finding the right script to fund, the team from the Orange Film Funding Board decided to take on the task themselves, cutting out the middleman and make their own movie. The result, a rehash of the classic Saving Private Ryan, is in the can and ready to roll. Maverick director, Mr Dresden, had this to say on the project.

‘Listen, we loved the original, loved its power, loved all the shouting and running around and general mayhem. But, you know, if they really wanted to find this Ryan guy, why didn’t somebody just call him? Big hole in the plot. Biiiiiiig hole in the plot. So we decided to remake it, only this time, the crux of the story is that nobody’s saved Ryan’s mobile number. That’s where all the trouble starts.’

But what’s that we hear you cry? Mobile technology in 1944? Like many sceptics you might be wondering about the authenticity and integrity of the film’s vision. After all, in the 1940s, modern telecommunications technology was still a long way away. Mr Dresden dismisses these concerns as mere ‘quibbles’:

‘Great cinema is all about communication.  What better way to communicate than with the mobile phone? Hello? Do these people need me to draw them a picture?’

Artistic integrity aside, it seems that Saving Private Ryan’s Number is far from a one-off. Mr Dresden has great plans in the pipeline:

 

‘We’ve just given a green light to Text Messages From Iwo Jima, but we’re also looking at something on the other end of the scale, a romantic comedy, a real tearjerker. It’s called You’ve Got Voicemail. People’ll be crying when they see it. Really crying. Properly crying.’

 

Don’t take our word for it – watch the trailer for Saving Private Ryan’s Number here.