Good Week/Bad Week: November 6

IT'S BEEN A GOOD WEEK FOR:

BABIES
Major celebrity spawn news this week. Welcome to the world, Kai Wayne Rooney, who was born on Monday in Liverpool and sent the media into a maelstrom over the origins of his name. These days, Coleen is a regular fashionista, with her shoot in British Vogue and her fragrance deal, but in her younger days she was held up as something of a chav icon, in her pastel tracksuit and hair band. And if you ask us, she’s paying tribute to those golden days with the name of her son. Because who else has a boy named Kai, who’s now a whopping 13 years old? None other than the Burberry princess herself, Daniella Westbrook. In other baby news, Legendary Lothario TM Russell Brand revealed this week in an interview that he too has been feeling broody. Sometimes we wonder what one of Russell’s babies would look like and we always end up imagining it the same way – coming out with black eyeliner on.

NEW HAIR
We need to let you into a secret. We know that Victoria Beckham is meant to be immaculately stylish and a big-deal fashion designer and everything, but we’ve never really liked her look that much. Too structured, too by-the-book and not a lot of fun. But wait! This week, the ice thawed a little between us and Posh As Style Icon when she debuted a new hairstyle at a trip to a basketball game with David, Brooklyn and Cruz. The new look is shoulder-length, gently curly and tousled, and it makes Posh look softer, more natural and totally her age – but in a good way. It’s like when Dannii Minogue stopped using Botox and suddenly we all realised how gorgeous she is. But did Victoria look happy about her new look? Don’t be stupid – she’s changed her hairstyle, not her whole world view.

POTENTIAL FEUDS
There’s no getting away from it – Celebland just doesn’t feel like Celebland without a decent feud going on. And one person we can normally rely on to stir up a controversy or two is Lily Allen. But recently she’s been keeping an uncharacteristically low profile, and this week even found herself on the receiving end of a mega-diss. So who was dishing out the bad feeling? Everyone’s favourite soul space-cadet Joss Stone. In discussing Lily’s campaign against illegal file-sharing, Joss said, “Lily needs to sell records because she’s not a singer. And that’s not an offence to her, because I think that she knows that, too.” Erm, right. Maybe we’ll let Lily herself decide that, yeah? Over to you, Lily. Don’t let us down now…

 

 

IT'S BEEN A BAD WEEK FOR:

 

THE BODY-CONSCIOUS
David Walliams is not backwards in coming forwards. The harem of glamorous lady friends seen escorting him to various showbiz functions are testament to this. As are the occasions when he’s attempted to de-trouser various attractive celebrity men in the guise of creepy Little Britain character Des Kaye. Just ask former Hollyoaks star Jeremy Edwards, who was once unwittingly debagged on stage in the name of charity. This week, Walliams/Kaye was up to his old tricks at a benefit gig in Brixton. And the unwilling victim? Lovely little Mark Ronson, who didn’t seem massively impressed about having his bum exposed to thousands of screaming fans. Like David, Mark is rarely seen without an extremely hot companion on his arm, so we’re not quite sure why he was suddenly feeling so body-conscious. We reckon Mark was secretly put out because David had put a whole load of creases in one of his famously sharp suits. They don’t iron themselves, you know.

CLEAVAGE
Over the past few years, we’ve got used to seeing Britney looking a little down in the mouth, what with all those well-publicised battles with her demons, her men and the press. Happily, everything seems much brighter on Planet Britney these days – apart from lately, things have been looking a bit down inside her top. Yep, while Brit’s been getting the emotional support she needs, her boobs could really do with some support of their own. This week, as she set out from her hotel in Australia to do a sound check, it was clear that the Spears Cleavage was heading distinctly south, and her flimsy T-shirt was doing little to disguise that. Let’s remember that Britney has had two children, so her body has certainly changed a bit over the years, but still, Trinny and Susannah would explode if they could see a sagging bosom like that. Actually, let’s give them a ring…

ROLE MODELS
This week, it was reported that Kate Moss turned fairy godmother when she was on hand to arrange pal Sadie Frost’s daughter Iris’s birthday party. Croydon’s Finest offered to help young Iris celebrate her eighth birthday with a model-themed birthday bash – don’t know about you but that seems totally appropriate to us. She taught the girls to do that all-important fierce model walk, brought along some clothes for them to dress up in and helped them put on a catwalk show. We’re assuming she left out the more colourful parts of her modelling career, such as those glory days when she admitted she never walked down the catwalk sober. Do as I say, girls, not as I do…


Good Week/Bad Week: Oct 30
Good Week/Bad Week: Oct 23
Good Week/Bad Week: Oct 16

 

The views in this column are those of the author alone and not of MSN/Microsoft