Good Week/Bad Week: October 30

IT'S BEEN A GOOD WEEK FOR:

COMING CLEAN
We love Dannii Minogue. She doesn’t always get things right (let’s not mention the embarrassing Danyl debacle) but we salute her for turning her back on the Botox and embracing the ageing process with dignity – not to mention her numerous victories in the X Factor fashion wars against Cheryl Cole. This week, Dannii became the latest celebrity to come over all emotional in a one-to-one interview with Piers Morgan (we can’t say we blame them – just the sight of his smirk is enough to reduce us to tears). In it, she revealed that she posed nude for Playboy in 1995 in order to free herself from debt after her divorce from husband Julian McMahon. But now Dannii says she has no regrets about the pictures and is proud of how she looked. Yep, we would have been pretty proud of that body too.

THE BRITISH STIFF UPPER LIP
Leona Lewis suffered a horrendous ordeal recently when she was assaulted by a man who had queued up for hours at a book signing. Until recently, the singer had stayed silent about the attack, but this week she spoke about the ordeal for the first time, and remained resolutely unself-pitying and positive, saying, "It could have been worse." No "I’m too scared to leave the house." No "My deranged stalker hell." Just "It could have been worse." Good on you, Lewis. Other celebs would have milked that for months of magazine covers and trembling TV appearances, where they moaned about their trauma and emotional scarring, while wearing a pair of sunglasses so big they’re visible from space. Not our girl. It’s just business as usual. Excuse us, we’re just wiping away a tear of patriotic pride.

FORGIVING AND FORGETTING
We wouldn’t blame Sienna Miller if she never spoke to Jude Law again, after he disgraced himself, and left her heartbroken following Nannygate. Yet this week, reports reached us that Jude and Sienna have met up several times recently in New York, where they’re both appearing in plays on Broadway. It’s not like Sienna’s been short of male attention since the split with Jude – her love life has practically kept the tabloids in business in recent years, and not much of the coverage has been complimentary. Jude, meanwhile, has garnered a fair amount of raised eyebrows in the newspapers over his fling with Samantha Burke, who gave birth to his baby in September. Perhaps it’s all that negative press attention that’s brought Sienna and Jude back together. We’re not betting against seeing their wedding pictures in OK! magazine in a year or so. Oh and not forgetting a joint Piers Morgan interview too…

 

IT'S BEEN A BAD WEEK FOR:

 

DIGNITY
These days, it’s easy to forget that Rihanna and Chris Brown were ever a normal, loved-up couple. Not for Chris Brown. He’s throwing everything into Operation: Get Her Back, and this week took to Twitter – aww, you old-fashioned romantic, Chris – to make his feelings for his ex perfectly clear. His arsenal of schmaltz included posting a link to a YouTube compilation of the two of them in happier times – performing cutesy duets, doing goofy dancing together, snuggling up at a football game, canoodling at the airport, him violently assaulting her in a car just before the Grammys… Oh wait, that last part didn’t actually feature, our mistake. Chris’s follow-up tweet read ‘FOR THE FELLAS: showing emotion doesn’t make u weak. BEING HONEST MAKES U STRONG.’ And beating up your girlfriend makes you what exactly?

PLANNING PERMISSION
Some people are never satisfied. Let’s take Cheryl and Ashley Cole as our example. Despite having a huge £3.5 million home with 12 acres of rolling gardens, 10 bedrooms and a five-a-side football pitch, they’ve now decided they want the moon on a stick - sorry - an underground gym and pool house. Obviously, the likes of you and I would just extend into our massive garden space, but Cheryl and Ashley, being hugely famous, are a bit more shy and don’t want any passing Tom, Dick or paparazzi spying on what they’ve referred to as their ‘intimate episodes’. We’re not sure exactly what that means, but now our imaginations are going into overdrive. Our chief suspicions: Cheryl’s extra temporary hair extensions have a tendency to get caught in swimming pool filters, and she doesn’t like to be pictured without them. Also, Ashley gets really embarrassed by his High School Musical armbands.

ROAD SAFETY
Brad Pitt had a lucky escape this week when he came a cropper on his motorbike in downtown LA. The World’s Sexiest Man And We Really Mean It This Time Even Though We Basically Say That About Roughly 12 People was weaving through traffic when he swerved to avoid a photographer’s car. Unfortunately, it all went a bit Junior Kickstart for Brad then, and after clipping a wing mirror and wobbling around a bit, he was soon saying a close hello to the tarmac. Luckily Brad was totally unharmed and is still The World’s Sexiest Man, etc, even if his bike needed to be taken home on a truck. Reports that Brad lost control of the vehicle following a call on the hands-free from Angelina saying she’d found another three kids she wanted to bring home have been strenuously denied.


Good Week/Bad Week: Oct 23
Good Week/Bad Week: Oct 16
Good Week/Bad Week: Oct 9

 

The views in this column are those of the author alone and not of MSN/Microsoft