Good Week/Bad Week: October 23

IT'S BEEN A GOOD WEEK FOR:

FEELING LIKE A DUMMY

There are many significant rites of passage on your way to superstardom – the first time you wake up to find photographers outside your house, the first time you’re recognised in the street, the first time you throw a tantrum about the kind of flowers in your dressing room, and the moment that Madame Tussaud’s comes a-calling. Leona Lewis didn’t have the best start to the week, after she was punched by a lunatic at a book signing, but things picked up significantly after that with the unveiling of her waxwork in London. The former X Factor winner is portrayed in a spangly dress and, unlike many celebrity waxworks, does actually bear a genuine resemblance to the star. However, we can’t comment on reports that an hour spent in the waxwork’s company is equally as exciting as the same time spent with Leona herself.

DEEP ICKINESS
Over the last year, we’ve started to question our feelings for Amy’s dad, Mitch Winehouse. He started off as the distraught father, terrified for his daughter’s future. And then it seems that he began to feel more and more comfortable in the spotlight. This week, he appeared on This Morning to discuss the serious business of funding rehab clinics in the UK, but pretty soon the conversation turned to Amy’s wellbeing. And that’s when Mitch let his sense of relaxation in the public glare get the better of him, saying Amy was doing “fantastic, her boobs are great as well”. Amy, of course, has just had breast implants. Eww, Mitch! You’re discussing your own daughter’s boobs on daytime television! Seriously, don’t you have a taxi you should be driving? Preferably down the fast lane of the road straight out of Wrongville.

LOST SOULS
There’s no doubt that the world of celebrity can be a hostile and lonely place. You’re only as good as your last job. Everyone wants to offer their painfully honest opinion of you. And relationships move so fast. All we can do is hope that one misunderstood spirit can reach out and touch another and find a little comfort. And that’s exactly what happened just a few short days ago. Yep, it was probably only a matter of time anyway, but this week Lindsay Lohan hooked up with Sienna Miller’s married ex-boyfriend, Balthazar Getty. The pair were spotted enjoying each other’s company at an LA nightclub. Aww. It warms the cockles of your heart, doesn’t it? Doesn’t it? We really do believe that the two of them are just searching for that special someone.

 

IT'S BEEN A BAD WEEK FOR:

WORKPLACE RELATIONS
It’s not always easy to get along with your colleagues. You’re forced together in a completely artificial situation and before long their habits of stealing all your Post-Its, filing things in the wrong order, or, say, wearing way better outfits than you on a Saturday and Sunday night can really drive you crazy. Rumours have long been swirling about the alleged rivalry between X Factor workmates Cheryl Cole and Dannii Minogue. Now Dannii has spoken out about their working relationship, saying that while they chat about the small stuff, like “clothes and boys and men” (erm… Dannii? That’s pretty big stuff in our book. We rarely talk about anything else), they don’t discuss personal issues and the pair are not close friends. Really, this all sounds pretty reasonable to us. Much as we like our colleagues, there aren’t many we’d invite round for our special Saturday night TV-and-takeaway bonanza. Anyway, if anyone’s not pulling their weight on the X Factor tea round, we just know that it’s Simon. Apparently he puts the milk in first. Freak.

CELEBRITY PARENTING

Good week/bad week wouldn’t be good week/bad week without an instalment of Katie and Peter news. This week the world raised a collective eyebrow at the news that Katie had been shortlisted for Celebrity Mum Of The Year. She won the award back in 2007, and over the years has been inspirational in her courage and devotion to her kids, especially disabled Harvey. But this year? We don’t care about the cross-dressing, cage-fighting boyfriend she was cavorting with in front of her children just a few weeks after her marriage broke down. It’s the incredibly hostile, mud-slinging, public bitterness towards her ex-husband Peter Andre – which her children will grow up to read about on the internet – that defies belief for us. It does make you wonder what you had to do to get left off the shortlist.

TECHNOLOGY

In the future, everyone will remember where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news that Lily Allen was giving up on the internet. Let’s remember her pioneering ways of yesteryear – along with the Arctic Monkeys, she was one of the first mainstream musical success stories of MySpace, and was also an early adopter of blogging and Twitter. But now? She says it’s all over, and has given away her laptop and her BlackBerry. And the reason? It’s not because she’s moved on to a new digital medium so revolutionary it hasn’t even been invented yet. It’s because her new boyfriend’s not really into it. Like, way to go, sister. Keeping the dream of female independence alive.

Good Week/Bad Week: Oct 16
Good Week/Bad Week: Oct 9

Good Week/Bad Week: Oct 2

 

The views in this column are those of the author alone and not of MSN/Microsoft